Tears

Tears. Do you know what they are , where they come from and what they represent. I do. I wish I didn't...but I do.

One of the reasons I started Thoughts, Reflections and Strengths was to stop the tears. I am a twenty four year old man who has accomplished a great deal. I have graduated high school, college, I am able to support myself. I even have a huge family that loves and supports me in all of my endeavors, but yet still, I have tears.

Last night, the love of my life asked me if I could share my thoughts with you. I felt that I could but I started to question myself. Today I have decided to push past myself and write. I decided to tell some of my story.

Growing up in middle class Atlanta with a loving family offers an ideal image. Unfortunately for me, it represents a lot of turmoil in my life. You see, I have always been conflicted about my sexuality. I knew I wasn't 100% straight but in my mind, I was not 100% gay either. Society realized this as well. As young as age five, I remember be chastised by the other school boys for being different. I walked and talked differently than they did. The changes were subtle but enough for them to notice and hate.

Every day I was made fun of to my face and behind closed doors. I hated myself for it. By age 10, I was crying tears at least three times a week. Sometimes I told my mother, other times I didn't. It was on me to cope with the issues because I felt that one understood. their weren't any other children around who were being bullied as much as I was. No one understood what it was like being chastised for something that you yourself don't even completely understand. Their were times I cried tears until I couldn't cry anymore...... I think that is enough for now. Just wanted to get at least a little bit off of my chest. Please comment. Good, back or indifferent, I want to know your thoughts.